The girl with Gold on her lips

I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to be around him. I need his scent and kiss. Even if it tastes like alcohol over half the time.

Alex is a blessing. I'm not sure how I was lucky enough to get a man like him. He's a great supporter and would be a great father. He loves me unconditionally and would always be faithful. He's a good guy playing a good guy. Hard working and successful. A man any woman would be grateful for.
His family loves me and everyone wants us to get married and for me to move far away. But it's easy for them so say. They're not the ones leaving behind their friends and family. Their home town and risking everything. It's a Cinderella story, but am I really a princess?

The American man who is somehow successfully pulling me away from Alex is my very definition of masculinity. Guns, cars, beer, he travels the world and he's a good man. My cousins and best friends all encourage it - in an effort to not lose me. And he's almost ten years older than me. Which itself is a turn on as my love for older men has done nothing but blossom into a must. He was a rambler but is now ready to settle down and have a family. Find a woman who is marriage material. Which is swears is me. I'm marriage material. His family loves me, he can support me, he travels and has family all over the world. He's a good man, and loves kids. He'd be a great father and a loving husband.

So what am I to do? I have developed feelings that have caused me to tell Alex not to propose, again. To postpone, again. Again. What am I doing?

"Am I doing the wrong thing?" I asked my brother Cody, who had no idea what I was talking about. "What if I'm doing the wrong thing?"

"What if you're not?" He said simply. I paused. Yeah, what if I'm not?

Molly was thrilled when I told her Frank kissed me. I thought she was going to slap me. I was almost afraid.

"I'm so sorry!" I said, "I know you told me not to but I didn't exactly know it was coming!"

"Are you kidding, Mesa? This is great! I knew it!"  She was happy. "What are you going to tell Alex?"

My favorite recent question. "I'll tell him the truth." Like it was ever that simple. Molly nodded, and smiled.

A couple days later I told Alex I was going riding with Frank. Alex said: "Remind me to buy Frank a beer next time I'm there. He's a nice guy keeping an eye on you."

He is a nice guy, isn't he?