Silent treatment

So last night, at about 11pm, I was on the phone with my friend Nathan when he enlightened me on some gossip. Now, we all know I hate the damn stuff but I really couldn't help but do something about this one. Nathan told me that his friend Nicole (one of the girls that was at the pats parade with Sam and I) was breaking up with her boyfriend for Sam. AND that Sam told Jamie and his other little friends that he raped me and they're actually pissed about the whole ordeal. Calling him a jackass and such (that was at Western so I wasn't there for that lovely moment). Nathan already knew what had happened to me so it came as no surprise to him. Although he was wondering why Sam would so boldy tell girls he liked that he had done that to me. And he was still going to get Nicole after that feat.

And, duh, I was generally pissed about him exploiting my personal life to everyone. I would have been more pissed but I was asleep when Nathan had called (9:30pm). So I put Nathan on speaker phone and while I was talking to him I texted Sam calling him a hypocrite and saying thanks for telling everyone about our personal life. He replied rather fast and didn't know what I was talking about. I told him that he was a hypocrite for convincing Nicole to break up with her boyfriend for him when he had hated when I dumped him for Matt. Sam said he had no idea that that was even going on. And he even said that he never said anything to Jamie or any of them about my assault and had no idea on how they even found out. He asked where I heard it from and I told him Nathan. All he said was "I see". I asked him what he saw (getting ever so more pissed at him) and he said that Jamie must be running her mouth about shit that she doesn't know anything about and that he had no idea about Nicole. I replied with "Typical of sophomore girls". Always looking for drama. I kinda wish I did go to Western now, shit, I'm POPULAR! Fuck yeah!

I continued talking to Nathan well into the night; laughing at ourselves because even though we were on the phone with each other, we texted our conversation back and forth and laughed at our replies. After a while he started to spell alot of words wrong and I decided it was time to let him get to sleep.

Other than Sam being a jackass, Shannon telling everyone I'm engaged before I can even get to them, and Taylor testing me, life has been kinda normal...even though I've forgotten what normal is. Insulation is well on it's way and my room, kitchen, living room, keeping room, back hallway, bathroom, and guest room are all done. Ta da! And by now I really really hope the entire house is complete. My mom said that after they get their taxes (or something) they'll have enough money to get siding and maybe, cross our fingers, a new front porch. Yippee! I'm not too excited about the front porch ordeal, my mom wants it all wood with wooden pillars and such. Very country like. I have a feeling they're trying to bring back our Auburn house, which was very country-ish. At least this is proof we won't be moving any time soon. Hopefully I'll be the next to move (unless Nick gets his act together). Taylor and I plan on moving to Caseville as soon as he graduates. And getting married whenever the financial situation is right. My mom hates that. She wants us to be graduated from college with full time jobs before we even think about marriage and kids. I think the one thing that Taylor and I really have in common is that we can't even get that far in our current situations. We need each other and the freedom of being independent and away from our families.

I'm starting to feel unwelcome in my own home...

I can almost see it,

That dream I'm dreamin,

but theres a voice inside my head sayin

"You'll never reach it."

Hear ye, hear ye! I got an e-mail from Meijer and they're interested in hiring me as a cashier. Woo Hoo! They said they're doing a background check and they'll get back to me about an interview. Hey, that's great news. A part time job is 15 hours a week; and that's not bad. I can use my employee discount to buy all the stuffs I need. I'm also going to see if I can get a job at the coke cola company. Haha, you're thinking. But I'd be a great dedicated employee. *proud proud*

I'm super excited about getting my car going. We're just waiting on insurance to call me back and we'll discuss that big fun mess. Once the weather decides to stay warm, I'll be cleaning out my car. Washing, etc. I love my car, it's got a nice sound system too. Gas prices are going up and that had Nick concerned this morning, but I'm sure all will be well. Nathan didn't believe me yesterday when I texted him saying it was snowing at my house. But yes, white fluffy stuff had been falling past my kitchen window for several hours after (and before) I got home from school. Insulation though, not snow. The guys actually decided to work on the house. Senior must have been selling me to them again. I walked up the drive-way and all of them looked at me and Senior said "Hey, how was school?" I made it a point to just keep walking and say fine. "How'd class go?" ...Fine. "How's your book coming along?" ...Fine! Seriously?! Really!? They laughed as I went in the house. I hate when he tries to be that supportive figure I need. Fake, yuck.

A Christian Cat

I'm sure Queenie is just as sick of religion as I am. According to the Christian religion (and a prime reason why I became an atheist), animals don't have souls. So why doesn't my mother allow her to have her daily bologna on Friday mornings? Why can't I eat meat on my beloved Fridays? I was sitting in the Great Wall with Kyle and Chelsea today when I noticed Kyle eating meat. I made a point to mention it and, first of all found out he's Lutheran, second of all learned from Chelsea that Christians CAN eat meat on Fridays, just not good Friday. Whatever the hell that is. My mom made her point yesterday when she clearly told me I was going against everything I was taught. Of coarse she doesn't scold my older sister at all when April refused to baptise her baby boy, saying that religion is a cult bent on pinching the spare change out of hard working Americans such as herself. A fair argument. But I wear black.

Which leads me to this: why is it that since I wear black I'm the anti-Christ? Why can't I just love the color? Its freakin' winter time, idiots! You wear dark colors to keep warm. Especially me, whom has issues with creating body heat. I wore all light colors the other day and my mom actually had me stop and let her study me in the living room. She was so proud and happy I was wearing color. Why does that little detail make her happy? I dunno, maybe she would be more content with me expressing my unhappiness with drugs?

My unhappiness: what spawns it? Who knows. That didn't even have a question mark behind it. I know who knows it. I do. And my parents are completely oblivious to the fact that I can't drive and that small fact is KILLING me! They complain I don't have a job (even though they're not the ones suffering from it) and that I'm not more independant. I have no reason to be independant. They don't give me a reason. My Mom won't even let me practice driving. Then she plays her favorite card: "If you want this so bad go with your Father." BUT when I do get my dad motivated and he DOES help me out, she gets all pissy and says that I'll have to be the one to deal with my step father. WHY?!?! It's my life, my money, my car! And my step dad doesn't have any power over me since I turned 18. He was never a legal gardian and he doesn't even own the house we live in. The only reason I'll have to "deal" with him is because he wants me to drive his dumbass rust bucket gas hog blazer. And when he founds out that I bought his LEAST favorite car (Saturn) he'll flip and try to bring me down on my decision. Then I'll tell him I bought it from a Larkin cousin (his nephew) and then Zach's head will be on the stake come Christmas time next year. Which is also when Zach is bringing me my spare key that he finally found.

I plan on taking my drivers test before July. Kyle is going to let me practice with him since he took the test and basically remembers every detail of it. So he'll let me drive him around and he'll prep me for the test. I think I'll do fine either way, but I really appreciate the help I can get. It won't be long until I can get my car legal and on the road! Then I can just park it out in the road and get my practice by driving Nick and I to Delta everyday, which he had a problem with, duh, he can't be cooperative. I'll probably end up having to drive illegally without a license just so that I can get to where I need to. When I went to apply for jobs online I missed out on about seven jobs because a requirment was a drivers license. At least today's fortune cookie said " The current year will bring you much happiness (in bed)". The ironic thing is, Kyle and I had the same fortune.

It's a kind of sad story with a happy ending kind of day

I'm just going to get right to the point: When I went to put on my usual jeans this morning...they had a hole in the butt. How in the hell did my jeans get a hole in the butt!?!? I had to resort to my old jeans that drive me nuts. Seriously, my $90 hollister jeans have a HOLE IN THE BUTT!! WTF!? Well Amanda's pregnant so I'll probably get alot of clothes from her again soon. How does this have a happy ending? I already told Taylor my theory about my fave shirt having a hole in it. It's sad that it's dead, but I'm happy because I can go clothes shopping! Yay new jeans!


My step dad is damn persistent when it comes to tearing the siding off the house (as you can see here). We plan on getting the walls insulated sometime this week, then putting new siding on sometime this year. So my house will look pretty ghetto (and shiny considering the insulation is silver) for a while. The neighbors are just loving it. My step dad let me keep the aluminum things on the corners of the house; I can take them in to Omni Source for a few bucks (that's about it but that's more than I had before).

I called my real dad yesterday and gave him all the information for my car so he can call Secretary of State today and see how much it's going to cost to get my car going so we can drive it and I can get a job! Yay cheap Hollywood climatic buildup! I can't wait. If he lets me drive without my license, at least to school, then I can stay at his house longer, making my life that much more easier! Also, I can pay my sister back now, especially since I've come across some money. I just have to figure out exactly how I'm going to do everything.

I wore my gladiator sandals to school today. I feel good when I wear them :]. OH! And, Kyle and I made plans to go to the Great Wall on Friday. I had such a taste for sushi yesterday I thought I was going to die. My Gold Award Ceremony went well. I had to shake a million hands and somehow, I must have known the photographer because every time she saw me she said "Oh, hey, Melissa!" and she put me right in front and in middle. So our paths must have crossed before. I forgot how hard it was to keep a smile on for so long while there were a million flashes of light in front of me. It was crazy and my speech was terrible. I was so nervous I kept losing my spot and having to improvise. Thank God I'm so good at humor relief, I put some into the very last part and the applause and laughter was what I needed to get off stage alive.

30 seconds of beautiful

You know what I hate about homework? It needs to get done, and although I have a nice chunk of it done, I still have a load to do. I'm going to be up late tonight so that I can finally call it done and relax a little over the weekend. Tomorrow morning I have work til about noon, then if Taylor can't make it over at all, Kyle called me and said he wanted to hang out. We'll probably end up going to the great wall once we can leave his house. Another thing I need to start tonight and end by the end of tomorrow, is my speech. I'm being honored at the Girl Scouts Gold Award ceremony and they want me to say a little somethin' somethin'. They said it should be about 3-5 minutes long, but I'm thinking 30 seconds is about all I will need; since I earned my award back in 2007 and was forgotten about twice. Hey, they're there to honor me, I can write and say whatever the hell I want. I'll probably just say what I did really briefly and thank everyone who needs to be thanked, and something spontaneous. Who knows, every one of the GS council knows me anyways.

John called and wanted to hang out tonight after he got out of work. Well, actually his friend Jacob the Italian wanted to hang out; telling John to "bring that one girl". He was pretty bummed I was busy and I told him I was free during the beginning of the week and he should have offered then. We laughed about the award ceremony speech and he said he was confident that I could make it "thirty seconds of beautiful". And that I shall. It's what I do.

"I keep a foam hockey puck in my pocket just in case I see Melissa"

Yesterday was long. I spent my early hours (as in noon-ish) washing the kitchen floor because I was tired of looking at it. Later in the afternoon, Taylor came over and we spent our time being stupid together and just being us. After he left I was picked up by Shae and we went to the mall and looked over movies the were playing. I already knew I wanted to see something scary, and we decided to see Friday the 13th. I've always wondered how you could remake a movie so many times. There was a few jumpy moments throughout the movie; it was mostly fake boobs, blood, and beer. Oh yeah, and basically 101 different ways to die and unrealistic sex. It definitely proved that drugs kill, hell, half the people who died were screaming or crying but I doubt they even knew what was happening. The first thing I did once the credits rolled was laugh. Shae cast me a concerned look, but I reassured him it was just my sadistic nature.

That's another thing. Shae's driving is...well I guess the only way I can describe it is fun. You can tell his car is touchy. I told him I like to be spontaneous and he was about to do donuts in the intersection, but there was another car coming. We spent the next hour sitting in the car in the Vets parking lot talking. Mostly about his college, since there's not much to say about mine. A little later, he drove me home and that was that.

I got about five hours of sleep, then woke up wide awake at 6am. Something was wrong but I don't know what was. I kept tossing and turning and having odd images flashing through my head that made me uncomfortable. So I sat up in bed, and drank some water. I don't remember falling back asleep, but my Dad called my phone at 9am saying he needed me to get over to his house early, and it was hard for me to talk. Of coarse I was tired beyond belief and was awakened from a dead sleep too. He said I had 15 minutes to get ready, and I did my best to be by then. I was. I threw what I needed in my backpack and here I sit. Today wasn't exactly the laid back day at Dads either. I filled the entire day up til about 3pm with nothing but homework and buttered noodles. I didn't allow myself to eat lunch until I reached a certain point in my work. I ended up eating lunch at about 1:30pm. I was quickly getting frustrated quoting politics and not being able to find answers, sometimes taking over 20 minutes to find one. I still have about ten questions on that assignment that, apparently, are all on two pages.

I also nearly got a chance to see Taylor too. But once we started to make plans I knew I wouldn't get my work done if he did come over, so I had to deny him at last minute. I kinda wished/wanted him to just ignore what I said and bike over anyways. Once I got a good slab of my work done, I really wanted to see him and I didn't care what I had to do. I was going to suggest ME driving him home later tonight. My cars license plate's not out of date, and I'll drive slow and, you know, not stupid and the chances of my being pulled over are highly slim. Of coarse if I do get pulled over for some stupid reason, I'll probably be temporarily arrested and my car impounded. And the thought of losing my Lady, was just too much for me...although I could have still done it.

Something amazing finally happened the other day: I discovered a small room in my house no one knew was there. We have a portion of the house that my Mom and I call the crypt, or the tomb, it's a cubby hole in the wall of the basement pantry where we store our Christmas decor and such. The ground is dirt so we have wood and carpet covering it. In order for Bay City to insulate our house, they said we have to have everything out of there so they can do that to. Well, that means taking out ALL of the x-mas decor and all the stuff the previous owners had in there. I crawled up into the space and started handing my Mom nearly twenty panes of glass and screens, then everything else. (Found some antique stuff, really cool). Once the space was empty, my Mom told me to take out the cardboard so we could recycle it. I started with the cardboard that lined the walls, but one piece was firmly stuck. I pulled really hard and it became loose. Behind it was an opening. "Um...Mom?" I said, she came over. "There's another room over here.". She thought that was really cool. Logan brought me a flashlight and for some reason, my Mom made me wait til Senior saw it first before I could go in. Once I got the okay, I went in with the crank flashlight, and found a room that was about seven feet long by four feet wide. It has a dirt floor with cinder block walls and had nothing in it except a newspaper from January 12, 1940, an empty whiskey bottle, and wood splinters. It kept my attention for about an hour after that. Logan was the only one who stayed down there to help me investigate. It was fun crawling in there and discovering the lost *dun dun dun*.

Also, a few days ago, Matt showed his mug at my house and took some of Nicks baby fish. He stayed quiet in Nicks room and whenever they needed something, Nick called for Cody or Logan, never me. I guess I'm not allowed in Nicks room while Matty is there. Even though I've always been the one to help him with his fish tank. That bothered me. I brought it up to him later and Nick said he didn't do it on purpose. Nah, why would you?

Huh? I'm an 8?

Wow. It is beautiful outside. Just over 60 degrees and AMAZING! Tonight is Band fest and it should be good. Even though I'm not sure exactly whom I will hang out with. Well I know the band but I want to be able to sit with zach and other alumni that I haven't had alot of time to actually talk to. My mom is picking me up from Delta at about 2:30pm or so, and we'll have to pick up Logan early from Elementry because H was being H again and had the bright idea of having Cody's concert at 3:30. Seriously who does that? Doesn't he know that parents are at work and younger and older siblings are still in school? Typical.

I told Bree about Taylor's proposal and she was estatic. She kept going "aww" and being all bubbly like Bree always is. Poor dear has to work 6 days out of the 9 days of break. Guess it's not much of a break anyways. Maybe I'll get my bike up and running this weekend and take advantage of the warm weather. Start my work out that I start every year in the beginning of March. Tomorrow I have work and then I'm free. Just waiting for my peeps to get back from college and free to go to movies and hang out.

Today in Astronomy, I kept glancing at the clock because my professor said we were going to go up to the observatory planetarium thing which is amazing. Just to find out we're not. It was a let down but at least Joey was good company for a change. Played tic-tac-toe (I won) and when we got our exams back I asked what he got and he said nothing worth sharing. So I threw mine infront of him and he showed me his. Even though our percentages were like ten off of each other, we still ended up both getting a solid "C", somehow. He went to write and the top of his pen shot into the air along with everything inside. It was really funny; I cracked up laughing and the teacher was temporarily distracted. Got done early on my quiz, then left. Same story, different day.

...out like a Lamb

Dinner at my Dads was great. We went shopping, played musical lanes when they were all taking too long, then got to the cooking. I like to watch my Dad cook because he's great at it. Pretty funny too. After we ate I showed off with my superb Spyro skills. Mad I tell you, MAD! After that, April and I (and Ryan and RJ) went to my moms house. Notice how I didn't say Nick? He stayed another day at Dads house. Which pissed me off because that meant I had to take the bus AGAIN. I had actually asked my mom to leave the truck here so I could just drive to school. Her eyes just got big and she nodded her head like "Shaw, like I'd actually do that.". What? I wouldn't get pulled over. I've driven that truck before and it's easy to handle. Helluva lot more than the Regal was. I did my normal habit of pissing off Queenie before going to bed. I had very interesting dreams. Like visiting someplace I hadn't been in several years. Everyone was very happy to see me, even the people who tried to kill me. That's how much happiness I bring people. Even enemies smile. :]

I gotta go catch that damn metro so I can get ready to see Taylor. And relax, it's all grey outside so it's depressing me. OH yeah, I got my paper back on gay marriages...the teacher said I "table pounded", and if you don't know that english term, then look it up. She said to make sure my sources are reliable...I'll ask myself twice next time my opionion comes into use, that way I know if I'm reliable or not. Hell, I'm always right. You just might not always agree with me. :]

Til then!

In like a Lion...

Spring break is just around the corner and I am more ready than ever! ...Except for the fact I've still got a lot of homework to do. But that's okay, cuz that's life. I'll have an entire week and weekend to catch up and hang out with my friends. Kyle and I will probably go to the Great wall and invite Chelsea again. And Shae wants to hang out this week while he's in town. Taylor and I will hopefully get some nice quality time together. Yesterday Ashley gave me a ride home from Delta. She drives crazy, and if she can get her license I know I can get mine! We kinda caught up on each others lives, she was on her cell phone most of the ride home being typical her. At least her conversations are humorous.

This morning, I enjoyed texting Dale, whom goes to Western, while he was in class. Last night, however, Nathan called and I had to remind him that I had Verizon and he didn't have to wait until after nine to talk to me. Big duh moment. Poor guy recently had his heart shattered when his fiance left him for another guy...that's not even straight. Ouch. Big time. I felt bad because they were engaged and Taylor and I are currently engaged. I put so much faith into their relationship; I guess anything can happen. Hell, I should know this by now.

Today, I'm going over to my Dads house for a Salmon dinner! GOD I LOVE SALMON! April and her hubby, plus Nick and R.J. will be there too. So kinda a family dinner showdown event (Prime time pay per view!). After today, I've got to really crunch down on homework so I have more free time during vacation. Taylor is going to shoot to be able to come over on Thursday (tomorrow) and that'll be just the relaxation stuffs I need to make the weekend work.

Round 2 (semester, that is).

Another week of school looms ahead of me, and this time I shouldn't have to worry about exams. I know history will be easy this week, since we're doing quizzes on videos and taking notes from lecture. English is really the only class I have homework in that I need to concentrate, I have to finish working on correcting my classmates essays (and dread getting mine back), then I have an investigative paper to do. Which that should be pretty easy once I find about four to six business advertisements and study how different magazines portray them. Astronomy will be easy, since we just take notes, a small quiz with our notes, then we go up to the planetarium room where he'll show us "the stars". Music will be fine, especially since music class was canceled last week. A pleasant surprise.

Nick's sick with the flu (or something). So I need to find a ride to and from school tomorrow. Thankfully, I got paid yesterday and I no longer have to worry about saving money since I've decided that I have to take a spring semester at Delta. Which really is okay. I'm actually starting to like Delta and enjoy spending an entire day there. It's peaceful and not too crowded. Chelsea and I plan on taking some classes together since we're really only doing it for the financial aide. I'm going to try to plan my schedule so that I only have to go a few days out of the week. Like Monday through Wednesday. Probably take a math class and a wellness class. Still have to decide what other two I want to take. Since I have to have 12 credits in order to get the money I want.

Eh, I gotta get going back to my Mom's. I should do my laundry and ask around for a ride. Wish me luck!