To repent

I'm sorry, blogger, I really am. I originally started this blog as a way to get things out of my system, and now it seems I'm hiding more things than I am writing about. I've failed again to create a completely honest blog for the world to read. Then again, did I really expect me to be able to do such a feat? Who would want all their problems and achievements (if you can call them that) on a public website to be judged (or ignored)? I've started writing in my written journal again so that I can get these out. And someday when I rule the world and they're published as my own biography, then the world will really know what happened and why it did; and maybe I'll help a teenage girl through some problems when she feels like she was the only one who ever had to go through them. That's where I was.

I find myself in a state of uncaring. I'd do something, and, well, not care at all. Then later when I realize it, I'd say "well I care, but I'm not going to stop". Why? I don't know why. If I care, why can't I stop? Am I trying to convince myself? (The other voices in my head try to do that when I listen to one over the other). Am I ruining something great or am I venturing onto great territory? We'll find out this summer: when I travel the country.

I guess, what I'm saying is...forgive me.