You're Still My Password

I think there's two kinds of love. There's the love I know I feel for John. The kind of love that you can picture you two together a long time for now, and feel that's how it's supposed to be. Like a soul mate kind of thing. Then there's the longing, passionate, I-can't-breathe-without-you love. When I wake up in the morning, I think of starting my day, and I think of John. And when I lay down at night, who do I wish was next to me? That's a different story all together. Night and Day are two different stories. And I cause myself so much pain because I know what I need, what I deserve, and technically what I want. But why is there still pain? Because I moved on before I was ready? I thought it was easier when you had someone new, to get over someone old?

But still, every now and then I see your face and wish it was with mine again. But even I know that can never happen. Sometimes I want you so bad it hurts and I can't sleep. But I can't just do something bout it. I try to let John fill that void, but it's not the same. He can fill it all he wants, but if I eat something I'm not craving, I'll still go looking for it, no matter how full I am. Even when I KNOW it wouldn't work out and that it would ruin EVERYTHING. Grieving the dead is never easy. Especially when they're still alive.