On my psychology sex survey thing there was a true and false statement about what percent of women are forced to do something sexual at some point in their life. I thought the percent was way too low, so I marked it false. I was right. There was a survey that showed that over 30% of women are forced to do something sexual by a man, or had admitted to being raped. With psychology surveys there is always the factor that the person taking the survey isn't being honest, fearing that their significant other, parents, or friends would find out, even if it is confidential. I knew this best of all, especially when my teacher, Dr.Dave, would ask a question and I wouldn't raise my hand, even if I did fit the criteria. I would just pass a note to Ben saying I did, he usually knew already though. A girl raised her hand and Dr. Dave called on her. She said that sometimes girls are raped or sexually harassed but don't say anything due to the fear of what others would think. He agreed with her saying, "The female may fear what her family would think, how her friends would take it..." he went on. I had thought of that before, in fact there was a time when I thought I was going to have no choice but to tell my mother that I had been raped, in order to protect Taylor. I remember calling up Nathan and crying to him on the phone about it. Then wondering to myself why I hadn't called Shannon or Kyle or Kristen. Why I kept them in the dark all summer about things that were going on in my life. "Hows it going, Melissa?" ...."Oh I'm doing great! Get to see Taylor tonight,"...."Good to hear you're having a good time."My mom's so proud of the fact that I'm a virgin. Every time a conflict would come up with Taylor's parents she would always say "Not my daughter! She's still a virgin! A good child! We'll take the test and prove it!" Then in the drive way with Matthew that last night together, "Well Matthew, I can tell she's hurt. You're all grown up, she hasn't even started. You've done things that she hasn't yet, and I don't mean buying a house or a car. But college and sex, you're probably scaring her...". When we were alone she would hint to me that she didn't think Matthew was good enough because he was older, I called his daughter a receipt. I started to get the frame of mind, because it was true, that I didn't think he was worthy because he wasn't a virgin, because he had sex before and accidently had a daughter, then told me that at the time they had sex, he didn't even love her! Infact, he was about to break up with her when she told him she was pregnant! That was a red flag for me. I didn't want to get involved with someone who had intercourse with someone he didn't even love, what if he tried that with me and didn't love me? I hated the thought and that was when our relationship really went down the steep side of the hill. But here's the ironic thing: after breaking up with Samuel, I swore to myself that I wouldn't date a virgin because, let's face the facts here kitties, it hurts when the guy doesn't know what he's doing, let alone doesn't listen. Now I'm dating Taylor, whom I presume to be a virgin, because he doesn't lie to me, another nice quality. And I'm extremely happy with him. I like how we don't have to do something physical to have a good time and if my parents never leave, we can still cuddle and kiss infront of them because, hey, they like him. The other night my mom said that she likes to see me happy, but I quickly learned that she doesn't like to talk about me dating. Don't ask me why. I dunno, my parents don't really know Taylor, but they still like him and give us their blessings, for now at least. Hopefully that doesn't change, but they are rather A.D.D.
I love him though, and that's all that will ever matter.
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