Sneak peak

I did a good job putting up the garland. Yes, yes you did. It's really secure, not going anywhere. Not this winter, not ever. I'll do just as good when I put the lights up. It'll be a treat to everyone who sees.

What's wrong with me? Nothing's wrong with you. Then how come everything I do isn't good enough? It's them that aren't good enough for you. That's what you've always said, always made me be alone...I've never made you be alone, just made you open your eyes. Then how come I'm always lonely? You have me. I'm alone. You're not alone. Does he even appreciate me? Ofcoarse he does, he loves you. I know. But he's always hungry for more. It's a guy thing. They all wanted more. Then how come I kept going back? You're mother said she wouldn't love you anymore if you weren't straight. But I am. We know that. I hate when people decide how I feel. Saying I don't like them in any certain way or form. How come whatever I do, it isn't enough? Hormones, girl, he's new to them. They're not hard to ignore. Not as strong as you. Never had the fears you do. Never learned like you did. I regret being the way I am. Don't say that, you'll appreciate being able to share your experiences with your daughter. It'll make her stronger, she'll appreciate being able to talk to you about these touchy topics. I need to be able to talk to my mother. I can't even talk to my sister about sex anymore. She's married. Do you remember the last time I asked her about sex? Haha, yes, last summer. She got out her grey's anatomy book. I wasn't expecting that either! Too much information! Yet it was just what you needed. It wasn't enough though. I needed to know more. Sad, strange, little man...