Thunder in Paradise

Well it's sad to say, sorta, that my written journal is going to be seeing a lot of action. Mostly because every time I write here about how I really feel, like I was supposed to, I get scolded or seem to mislead. So, don't fret if I don't write a lot. School has me wanting to hang myself, not actually, there are cooler ways to die.



I had a dream a few nights ago that bothered me to the point where I thought about it all the time. I almost told Taylor about it, but we all know how I get distracted with other topics. Plus I'm not entirely sure how he would have taken it. But, alas, I wrote about it in my journal and it has temporarily stopped haunting me. Holidays are coming up and I have no money and I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to make it work. Now I don't know what to write about because I've already gotten it all out of my system.


Nicks been a jackass lately, saying that Taylor doesn't love me, and no matter what I say, it always somehow starts an argument, he even called me a dumbass the other morning because I wanted to let the car defrost first; then he proceeded to complain that there was frost everywhere, in the car even. Aprils due soon, doesn't seem affected by it though. My mother came home yesterday from work and I glomped her. She was surprised I was even downstairs. I said I was lonely. We hanged out for a long time in the kitchen playing around with her wreaths and talking about her work. I told her that I was recently told by Sam that I qualify for food stamps. Hot damn. Food for me! He's been getting them which means I can. He tried to help me get on WIC (for the baby) I told him to just concentrate on the food stamps and I'll worry about the baby programs. He seems determined to help out. Speaking of helping out, I need to find a job, or else depend on my reletives to actually listen and give me money for the holidays. Doubt it though, the Larkin side is doing this thing that they started where nobody gives presents at the family party on Christmas Eve, because they never know if they'll get good things or not. Well, too bad for them, we're still going to do the traditional stuff and pass gifts, if they don't like it, they can go become Buddists, or how ever it goes. But anyways, Bre, the Demon Spawn, came over because she needed help with her English homework. I helped her rather easily. Her mom was watching suggested I become an english teacher, psh, I said, there's not enough money in that field to keep my attention for long...whoa, I just had Deja-vu...I've written about this somewhere else...