Rubix Cube

When you have a problem, what do you do? You could sit around and wait for someone else to fix it, you could pray that God fixes it, you could complain mercilessly about it, or (this one always seems to work best) you could do something about it! And that's what I've led myself to do: find a solution to my problem. What's my problem? Well I could sum it up and say my life, but apparently others have it worse than me, so I'll just say a fraction of my life. After all I have a whole bunch to be grateful for! (That wasn't sarcasm).

1. I have Taylor. The love of my life. Someone who is ALWAYS there for me no matter what and actually listens and holds me when I need that comfort. He helps me with my problems even when the reality of his solutions are a little off. Hey, that's one of the millions of reasons I love him.


2. I have a roof over my head. Hard to find these days, and even though the walls around me are empty, the build up of snow is a great insulator. :] A home is something I've come to appreciate more and more over the years. When I dream at night, if it takes place in a my home it's always been at the Auburn house, and it still is. But when I'm not at Auburn, I dream of my current house which is great because my 'now house' felt like a home as soon as we moved in, even with the monetary issues we have with it. Maybe that's what makes it so worthy of keeping. The fight and sacrifice.


3. I have my cats. Yes, crazy cat lady to the rescue! Laugh all you want I LOVE my cats. (Even Queenie). Why? Because before I had to rely on friends or loved ones: they were there. Before I had to interact and acknowledge the outside world (the real world) they were there. Soft and warm, they listen without saying any criticism. They just purr and love you for you. (hey, I had a Betta once and he listened great too! :3)


4. I have a job. And although that job doesn't make much money and I can never seem to hold on to it for a long time, I enjoy being able to pay my own bills and buy my own drink. (Notice I didn't say food). It's a quiet environment and I enjoy it there and can benefit by taking a Coke from the lawyers refrigerator. As long as it's not their Vodka, they won't mind.

There are plenty more little things like my mothers health and my caffeine addiction, but lets get to my problem. Yes, I'm going to talk about my problems for once. I woke up this morning all excited and ready for a good day. I had clean clothes so I could wear whatever the hell I wanted. And I did. I came downstairs all skippy doo-daa just to find out there was no coffee made. Now, yesterday my mom taught me how, so I groaned a little and started to make a pot of coffee, I had everything all set and I was about to put in the coffee ground-things when I realized that we...didn't...have...any. I cursed my step dad under my breath (although I don't know exactly who's fault it was) and went on to make my lunch for school. Then found out I had to defrost bread and bologna, and there was no mustard. This threw me off the happy wagon big time. I already had to buy a pop so I could have some kind of caffeine today (so that I wasn't accused of having a hang over again) and then my toast came out of the toaster almost black. Poor Alaina was following me around almost being killed, when I finally discovered she needed water. Poor thing, I felt bad. Finally made my lunch, ate my breakfast, and sat on the couch starring out the window when Nick came and laughed at me. I yelled a little bit about Matt's comment yesterday about how it was out of my character to be in a good mood. Well excuse me! I'm only in a good mood around people I like! Nick said that Matt's being a retard and denying dates with beautiful women because he's still confused about me. Well let me clear up your confusion: go fuck yourself, douche bag!

Now, about my problem. The problem was there wasn't anything I could do about my morning being ruined. Here's what I thought for a solution. Instead of just complaining about my problems, I'm going to apply at every store that is HIRING and NOT hiring and find a job and work my socks off to make my own money to buy myself the things I need to make life for ME work everyday. Food, whatever. I already have to buy my own clothes (which is come to be expected when you come of age) and I need to get my car on the road. So screw being able to relax, I'm getting a job if it's the last thing I do!