My Chemical Romance

I thought it was so sweet and romantic when I found this picture of a man proposing to his girl friend in the rain, that I had to save it and make it the newest addition to my photo collection. Then I thought to myself: "how would I like to be proposed to?" I thought that this would be the perfect way. I can't think of a better way, and trust me, I've thought about it my whole life...well almost. I wanted my proposal to be similar to how the first day I met the love of my life went. Which, to the ironic lifestyle I lead, is a great story to tell. Especially since the day that Taylor became mine, and the day we had our first kiss, was out on the pier in the rain. It was so perfect the way the rain suddenly stopped and the sun came out, it was definitally a sign. A sign that I had finally found the right one for me. We have both agreed to work towards our goal: forever.

Then the other day, Taylor asked me why the male should always make the first move. If he had waited for me to make a move, we'd still be admiring each other from a far. I'm very traditional and believe that the male should make the first move. He told me he planned on proposing to me after he graduates. We're trying to plan our future very carefully. I love to think of my future with Taylor, it makes me excited that I finally have something other than work to look forward to.

I'm scared to get my hopes up about my future again though. I can remember dating Sam and not being able to wait for our future together. I never thought that he would be stupid and I would turn my shoulder from him. Then with Matthew, I thought for sure I'd get stuck with him. How we were only dating for six months and yet he was building his future around me. I knew I would destroy him when I told him it was too much for me. Another broken promise.

But, it's different this time, and I know it. It's just hard to ignore the scars of the past and make room for more potential ones. I want more than anything to be with Taylor for all time, I'm just scared for myself, and my sanity ofcourse, the little I have left.