I can still remember the smell of the smoke when me and three of my other friends went on our senior camping trip. It was the first time we were doing something alone, without adults, and we were surprised to find out that it was easy for us to work together and survive on our own.
It was crazy cold at night, even with the four of us in a tent, there was no hope for body heat and we actually were willing to get up at five a.m., just to start a fire and warm up. We paired up most of the time. I hung out with Bastian, and Kristen and Jeana stuck together.
It was the night of our second day at camp and Bastian and Jeana were in the van watching a movie on the portable DVD player. Kristen and I were around the camp fire; I would frequently glance up at the stars, which were alarmingly bright, especially compared to the stars I would see sitting on the roof of my house back in the city. It was hard to believe that the sky we saw that night, was the same sky we saw from our bedrooms. I brought it up to Kristen, she simply stared at me. I knew her looks, and I was uncomfortable under her glare. She was cautious to bring up a touchy subject. "Melissa, what happened between you and Sam exactly?". Groaning, I let my head rest on my knees. That topic had been coming up alot lately. Reason being was probably my fault. I had let them convince me to burn some of Sams belongings, so to vanquish any evil spirits and help me get over my past. That had been an earlier ceremony. I actually did feel better after seeing his boxers go up in flames, as we had.
I couldn't tell her that nothing bad happened. I've tried that before. It was awkward having an actual real life serious conversation with Kristen. She had been the one that I ran around super stores with, making sure to cause a racket. The most serious topic we had ever discussed before then was how unfair our parents were. I just saw it as a sign that we were growing up. I told her what happened, straight to the point. She was confused at first. How could that happen? "I wasn't ready, and he said too bad, basically." I didn't want to talk about it, even to this day, just thinking about it is bad. It gets worse the more I think about it. Everyday I have unwanted flashbacks, and now only my closest friends know the truth.
I think that was the first time in that entire relationship, that I missed Matthew. To tell the truth, I was glad that we were so far up north, that there was no possible way that my phone could ring, no possible way I could send or recieve emails, no texts, no nothing. The last thing I wanted was to realize that in a few days, we would have to return to the real world. That that place, actually existed.
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