Like a fire in my veins

This past Sunday didn't actually feel like a Sunday. It felt like more of a Saturday really. The thought of school the next day never occurred to me, or the fact that I did have homew0rk either. It could, in fact, be that Taylor had come over on Sunday instead of the normal Saturday. Reason being I was supposed to be busy but, ironically, both of my previous plans had been cancelled and rescheduled all at the same time. So, my Saturday consisted of watching television, saving the world, Internet, and of coarse, throwing feeble attempts at my homework. So I guess the days got switched; Saturday (supposedly the wild and fun day) switched with Sunday (the supposed relax and take it easy day). No problem here though. I still got to see Taylor either way. (Did that confuse you at all?)


And as if on cue, like every weekend before, Taylor and I craved alone time. Primarily we liked when we could turn to each other for entertainment, the way it is supposed to be. We eventually got our wish, after watching "Grease". Two or so hours of alone time, hells yeah. I had to call my dad though and make sure that they were going to be gone for a while. He just told me to put another movie in. So, we did. I don't think he included the fact he wanted us to watch it though. Hope not, because we didn't. I'm not going to go into extreme detail, like I did in my hand written journal last night, but we did get extremely intense. More intense than either of us probably meant. All week we were exchanging texts about sex and other possibilities, but I never thought that anything would actually lead to that. I mean, come on, right? Just another fantasy of mine forgotten and lost. Now, don't get ahead of yourself, we didn't have sex. Probably a good thing I was constantly nervous about when exactly my father would be returning home. Otherwise, god knows what would have happened. I took the liberty of starting things when I straddled Taylor on the couch. That should have been an insight on how the rest of the day would go, and I liked it. Probably would have enjoyed it more if I wasn't worried about the possibility of my father coming in, you're going to hear me say that alot. I had to tell Taylor several times that we needed to calm down, reluctantly, we both went back to laying on the couch to throw another attempt at watching the second movie.



That was when I realized that Taylor's neck was extremely vulnerable . At first, I just wanted to nuzzle it. I loved the feel and warmth of his skin against mine. Then I just decided to touch it, nothing provoked me, I just like to touch him and he knows that. All summer l0ng I had told him that. I touched his neck, chin, jaw, everything I could; but just barely. I wasn't sure what kind of an effect it would have on him or even if I was just plain ol' annoying him. So I was gentle in every aspect. I realized not too long later that I was having a postive effect on Taylor, judging by his whispers of "So good..." and such.



This might sound weird but...you know when you're trying to walk down a steep hill, like a sand dune, and you're trying to be careful, but still somehow manage to lose your footing, fall on your butt and slide the rest of the way down? That feeling you get when you fall: you know you're going to be alright but it still scares you a little? That's what it felt like when Taylor pinned me. It wasn't really a pin, it was more like a tackle. I let out a sound of surprise first off. Don't take that as a sign that I didn't like it, when in reality, yes, I loved it. His kisses were so vigorous, and the way our bodies were touching, was making me wish I didn't have to worry about my dad coming home. I thought I knew what it felt like to get caught up in emotions like those, but the feeling I was getting because of Taylor was all new. Along with my nervous butterflies (because of the risk my father posed), I had an odd sensation throughout my body. I found it possible to stop the feeling just by concentrating, or whatever, a skill I was glad I had in class on Monday. The only way I can describe the sensation was sorta like a fire in my veins. I actually wanted more, to feel more, know more, maybe even experience more. I've never felt that way about anyone (or anything) before. Why was it that I did it with Taylor and suddenly it was different? Hm, maybe because it was voluntary? No, I think that was a small part of a big picture.



I had to get Taylor's attention, or else who knows what else we might do. Whispering his name hadn't gotten his attention, even though it made the experience better. I decided to limit his movement by holding him tighter, although this worked for his body, it didn't exactly stop him totally to get his attention. So I purposely made our kisses longer, so he would have no choice but to slow down. Eventually, I got him to slow down, not that the choice was one I wanted to make, it was was more of one I needed to make. It was my job to be responsible. That's always been my job. Taylor said he had to get up and walk around. I wasn't sure exactly what his issue was, so I let him have his wish. He waltzed around the kitchen, and I checked the driveway. Still home alone. He must have been having a personal dilema because he propped himself up against the wall. I went up to him and hugged him so that he knew he was okay. I was rather hesitant to touch him at first, I didn't know if he wanted the time alone and if hugging him was out of the question. It was fine. We retreated back to the couch and finally began to watch the movie. Although that didn't last long either.

I still wanted to be affectionate, just without all the fire works. Once again, Taylor had his neck open, so I started to kiss it. For some reason, I was hesitant to do this to. I didn't want to provoke him like I had previously done, again. Kissing him is easy to do, I love the feel of his skin. Love is an understatment. Obviously it picked up again, there was alot more kissing and such. We started to get more into it, when we heard glass shatter. My imediate reaction was the cats knocked something over. It was actually the candle my dad had lit exploding. Taylor jumped up and blew out the fire. I just poured some water on it. I went to call my dad about it when him and Judy pulled in the drive way. Gosh, good thing that candle blew when it did. We would have been in big trouble.

Somebody was looking out for us. And I thank whomever that was. :]