Black velvet...

You know what I've recently noticed and come to expect? In almost all of my dreams lately, I'm being chased down and either killed or imprisoned...and in my dreams I like it. In several dreams I'm being chased by the police and I'm running from police cruisers or dodging security guards at Wal-mart. There's spikes coming out of the side of buildings and hallways trying to skewer me, but I always dodge them as well. Then towards the end, I can feel fear swelling up in me and they always catch me. Always. Or I die trying to escape. Last night I woke up I hit the ground so hard in my dream. Dead running for my life, through the grey rain, through the thick forest, who was hunting me this time? I was. It was confusing at first, seeing me outside of myself. And it hurt. I was always mad or upset, jealous or envious. While the other me was always happy, bubbly even. Then she came. I can't remember her face now, but in the dream I competed with the "good" me for her affection, friendship. I lost though. I had to watch myself be with her. Who ever she was. And I hated it. I loathed myself for not being able to be her friend. I WANTED her, dammit! She was supposed to by my friend! For months I listened to them laugh together, walk together, just be best friends together.

Then one day the girl spoke to me. Ofcoarse she was with Good Melissa and I was just Bad Melissa but I advanced her with angry disbelief. She asked me what I thought about everytime I looked at her. At first I couldn't believe that she had ever even known of my existance. She never even glanced at me, at least that I noticed. My anger growing, I advanced her. "What do I think of? What do I think of?! I think of pain, poisen, black velvet...blood and death!". Suddenly out of no where, I had a knife in my hand and I lunged at the girl. Good Melissa jumped across and grabbed my wrist. We fell to the ground and the knife sunk into the soft earth. Melissa slapped me and pinned me to the ground. Somehow I freed an arm and forced her off me. Melissa grabbed the knife out of the ground and made a slash at me. I dodged but she kept coming after me. It was getting too close so I turned and ran. She continued to chase me through the thick grey woods, I had to force my way through shrubs and low trees in order to escape her. Eventually though, I managed to out run her but knew I couldn't go back now. Not after that feat. It started to down pour as I made my way through the woods. All the trees were the same. They were all white birch, or zebra wood, as I call it.

After some time of wandering, I came to a small village on the side of an extremely steep but short cliff. Right before the wall of rock was a shallow river. Too keep this part short, I hung around this village for awhile because there was a man in the village who was a father to a little girl that I had a grown a sort of affection for. Very similar to the affection I had for the previous girl. No one in the village knew I was in the woods right outside of it. For some reason I was afraid to expose myself to them, as if I was a wild animal. Eventually, however, the little girl came out of the village to play in the river. Her father wasn't around so I decided to get her a gift. This is the sadistic part. I went into the woods and found, and killed, a Doe and her fawn. I brought the dead fawn to the river where the girl was playing. I went up to her and offered her the dead fawn. Once she saw the dead animal, she started to scream and her father came out of no where, waving around pots and pans. I ran back into the woods, where I was once again running for my life. I evaded the angry father much easier than I had Melissa. I was now so deep into the grey woods that I couldn't see the sky. I was once again broken that I lost the girls affection again.

Somehow I made friends with a bear cub of some kind. And it followed me through the woods which now the ground was covered in a sort of grass that was about knee high and swayed in a breeze I couldn't feel. It was night time and darkness swept across the woods. I can remember the whole time looking for something I called home. But wasn't home where I was thrown out of? Wasn't I forbidden to return home? I found a cave and started to take shelter from the rain, when I stopped suddenly. I felt the bear cub behind me, confused at why I stopped. I stared into the darkness...yes there it was. I slammed my eyes shut and waited. A few seconds later I opened them again...then closed them. A little bit later, I opened them again. Well I wasn't mistaken, I could see a pair of glowing eyes that surveyed the cave in my direction. It was a bear, and from what I could see, it was a very large one. It grunted and I knew it saw me. Actual fear rose up in me and I knelt down, grabbed the bear cub and swung it at the giant. The adult bear was temporarily distracted by the intruder but ignored it knowing now that I was, for a fact, there. It charged and I ran down a riveen to the right of the cave. It thundered after me, breaking and snapping trees as it went. The riveen turned into a mud slide and I fell onto my side which then became my back. The bear couldn't keep up and disappeared. I was sliding uncontrolably towards the end of the ride. At the bottom there was a circle storm drain and I was headed right for it. Unable to do anything about it, I slammed into it with my back. I couldn't move and I laid there covered in mud, blood, and the water that continued to rain from the grey sky...

That's when I woke up, and when I couldn't fall back asleep. I tossed and turned, first it was too hot, then too cold. Then I couldn't get comfortable, etc. You know the story. I knew before I went to sleep that I would have a dream like that. That's basically how they all go lately. Running from something that's out to get me. I hope that now that I wrote about it, I'll be able to have different kinds of dreams now. That's how it goes with me. Have dreams of God? Write them down, they go away. Sorry if I wasted your time. My blog, my dreams.