I'll live in a house the color of sand...

With big open rooms that are still cozy. Warm colors, and a big mantle fireplace with a mirror above it, similar to my mothers. Two stories and a worthy basement. A two car garage and a big back yard. An open staircase and nice wood floors. Big windows that look out to the back yard and a nice sliding glass door. Long flowing white curtains that dance in the breeze and a big window that opens in the bedroom. For that a Queen size pillow top mattress bed with a big wooden headboard. And in my bed, I want Taylor. I choose him above all others, for longer than forever. I know he knows it, and feels it. He's the one I want to risk it all with. I've learned to not be an open book for my own safety, but with him, I feel I need to be. I've always felt like that with Taylor, even before I fell in love with him. I'm tired of writing about my past. I know too much about myself to sit quietly in the dark without making a comment into the silence. I cry too much about things that I cannot change, and probably wouldn't. The scars my past gave me scare me away from trying new things and even allowing me to trust people who I know I can; all because one or two people screwed up my idea of the concept. My job as a writer is to portray my feelings through my own writing, my characters; and as I over read what I had written in Believe, I know my character is me, I have feelings for her, and it's because of that that when she goes through something that I have, I cannot find the words to properly portray the moment, because I don't want to relive it. But I've decided just recently to switch up the plot a little bit for better understanding of what she/ I are/have gone through. (As confusing as that sounded). And I've noticed something else: in some scenarios it is easier to write through the aspect of a male character, even though all of mine are female. Probably because I may not know what goes through a males mind, but I know what I want to go through a males mind, and I've found out through my own research, that it is the same thing. Look for me on the books shelves at Barns n' Nobles, for that is where I'll be, when Taylor and I move to our house the color of sand.